A Day I Will Never Forget

Wednesday, the 22nd of May, 2013 is a day that is etched onto the canvas of my memory for the rest of time.  It began a day like any other, but every moment that ticked away on the clock brought a new mix of nervous excitement to the surface of my heightened emotions.  On this day, I was to marry.

I hadn´t seen Yoel since the evening before, and I wasn´t to see him again until I met him at the end of the aisle, to say our vows.  The day felt soooo long, but there was plenty for me to do.  Manicure, pedicure, hair, make-up... check.  Every minute that passed, I got more nervous, and more excited.  We were going with the flow.  I was still writing my vows until just before I was picked up.  There had been no rehearsal; no plan.  We picked the day and the location the weekend before, and were making the rest up on the fly.  I wouldn't want it any other way.

The beach was stunning, and we set up ceremony just feet away from the crashing waves.  The day was hot and dry, but slightly cloudly, perfectly bringing the temperature down a few notches and giving us a beautiful backdrop for our photos.  Yoel was clad in all-white beach attire, and I had on a white bikini underneath my white sarong dress, which I later tied in varying styles.  I always said I would get married on a tropical beach in a white bikini :)  The whole day had a casual and laid-back feel, although the weight of the covenant we were making was evident to us all.

I walked down the longest aisle ever, swatting at mosquitoes all the while (the one thing they never mention in exotic beach weddings at sunset...).  Finally, from the top of a slight hill, I made my way down to where Yoel was waiting for me.  The pastor read Scripture, we spoke out our own vows, followed by the traditional wedding "until death do us part".  Rings were exchanged, a unity candle lit (though with a beach breeze that proved to be a slight challenge), and we were pronounced husband and wife - Mr. and Mrs. Marrero.

Celebrating with a champagne toast, fresh tropical fruit, and snacks followed a photo session on the beach before the sun completely disappeared below the horizon.  Married.  Forever.

It was the wedding of my dreams - better than I had ever imagined!  The best part was marrying the man I love, who seems to have been made just for me ;)  I couldn't ask for more...

A special thanks to Alpha studio in Trinidad de Cuba for the wonderful photography.

Eat patat!

Eat patat.

“What?!”

Eat patat.

I recognized that whisper as the voice of God, but surely I was mixing in my own words or desires; God couldn't possibly be asking me to break my fast and eat patat, especially when it sounded so good... definitely a temptation; a test.

What's wrong? Why won't you do it? What are you waiting for?

“Well, I can't. I'm fasting. It's tempting, but the answer is no.”

It wasn't a suggestion, Stephanie. I am telling you to go order patat. I want to share it with you...

Absurd. Outrageous. A God who wants me to order French Fries... really?!

“Fine. I'll do it. But I'll have You know that I'm not to blame for breaking my fast! This wasn't my idea, but Yours!” (Indignation).

(Smile).

I ordered a plate of hot, crispy French Fries, with a glob of mayonnaise on the side, and took a seat on the sand, in plain view of the sea.  The waves crashed onto the shore in rhythmic synchronization, soothing to my restless soul, while the sun shone brightly in the blue sky, making the water sparkle and shine.  I gave thanks and put the first salty, deep-fried chunk of goodness into my mouth, all the while wondering why God had asked me to eat...

Don't you see? It's not about the food. I wanted to show you that I know what you want... and I care. It's My pleasure to give you good things. I am for you, not against you. My desire is to bless you; what's on your heart matters!

Well, the deepest longing of my heart isn't exactly a plate of French Fries, but I can see where this is going...

“Then why the fasting?”

The fasting was a call for you to come to Me.  It's not supposed to be something you do out of duty, but a deep thirst for more - a holy dissatisfaction.  I want you to desire Me more than you desire indulging yourself. I want to be more important than food. You wouldn't have come here today if you hadn't set aside special time for Me. You would have been too busy, and I wouldn't have been able to show you that I care about your heart...

It's true. I put off fasting because who really likes to go without food?! I finally gave in, and when I woke up today, I followed that whisper in my heart to go to the beach. “We're not in tropical paradise here, God” was my response, but the whisper in my heart kept calling me to the shore. On a whim, I decided to follow it; after all, I was fasting and had no other plans. The five hours I spent at the beach were like a tropical vacation to my soul. What I really needed was just to connect with my Creator. To stop and listen; to know that He cares about my heart. I didn't leave the country. I wasn't gone overnight. All I had to eat or drink was a simple plate of patat. My “vacation-in-a-day” cost a grand total of 15 euros and 20 cents, yet I learned a truth that I won't soon forget, and my soul feels refreshed! God never ceases to surprise me... French Fries. He cares about my heart; and what I want matters to Him!

“Seek first the Kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33)

BIRTHDAY

            I could not have asked for a better birthday celebration than I had this year in Cuba.  I turned 25 this past Monday, but the party felt like a quinciñiera, a Latino tradition along the lines of a gsweet 16h birthday bash.  My Cuban family in Trinidad went all out!

            I slept in (of course), only to wake up to a tropical breakfast spread of diced fruit, fresh guava juice, strong Cuban coffee, and a toasted ham and cheese sandwich.  The sun was out in full force, greeting me with warm hugs and kisses :)  Pure ecstasy.  Before I had even finished eating, my very own dance teacher showed up to congratulate me and give me two hours of private instruction.  I've met a few dancers in my lifetime, but he's one of the best.  What more could I possibly want for my birthday than a couple hours of solid dancing with a pro?!

            When the class was over, I took a quick shower and my Cuban mom and sister took me for a manicure and pedicure – full service.  I needed my nails to match my dress ;)  My mom disappeared for a minute, only to return with a little bag of chicharritas (basically thin banana chips) – my favorite!  The streets are full of people and activity this week because it happens to be “Semana de la Cultura”, which is a week-long festival of street vendors, markets, Art, live music, and dancing every night.  It happens to fall on the week that I am here – fantastic.  I've never experienced such an efficient nail treatment, but the girl was accurate and quick!  The whole thing cost about 50 American cents... not too shabby.

            Back home to shower and get ready for the evening.  We had a photographer come to take pictures of all of us individually and as a group.  There was a beautiful cake, snacks and appetizers, and a case of cold Bucanero beer for everyone!  The evening was spent with people dropping by, having a delicious dinner together, and then, I hit the streets!  Danced, danced, danced the night away... A quarter of a century.  I may be older, but I don't feel it at all!  :D

This is where I tried to insert a photo... but uploading a photo with a Cuban internet connection?!  Forget it.  I´m patient, but I´ve put several hours into this process already and still no success... Pictures to come...

            Cuba has been incredible thus far.  I think half of La Habana knows me.  I walk through Centro Habana and say hi to people as if I've lived there my whole life.  Not a day has passed that I don't meet someone new, make a friend, and exchange contact info.  It's January – winter – but warm as can be and sunny every day.  Es Cuba!  :)

VIÑALES

Here in the middle of paradise, I enjoyed dinner under a thick canopy of midnight blue sky, speckled with hundreds of bright stars and lined with tall, silent, noble palms.  In the distance I hear the shaking of maracas, and the beat of salsa penetrates deep into my body.  The sounds of laughter and merry-making drift in and out, hushed only by the serenity of the night.  A light tropical breeze brushes over my skin, taking the edge off the warm humidity.  A deep breath of fresh air.  All is well, all is right.  Viñales is a tropical paradise of picturesque hills and luscious greenery. 

MEXICO

Mexico was fun.  It always is.  This was such a short visit, but nonetheless, I thoroughly enjoyed it!  It was my first time to Puebla, on a quick layover to visit my friends Marnie and Abbey.  Marnie's flight was canceled last minute and delayed two full days (who does that?!), so it ended up being just Abbey and I for New Years.  I have to say, Puebla is not exactly a happening spot.  After wandering the deserted streets for nearly an hour, we finally found a hamburger/hot dog stand that offered us some impromptu tacos.  Not exactly how I was planning to spend New Year's Eve, but it had to do... The bright side?  I had great company :)
The next day wasn't a whole heap better, but I will say this for Puebla: I relaxed, rested, and got some internet stuff done.  Besides that, I had a wonderful time with great friends.  The food was good (as always in Mexico) and the view of the volcano Popocateptl was pretty sweet...

Churros in the Plaza with Abbey

Una cemita!

What I seem to keep forgetting is how much I like Mexico City.  I could live there.  People are EVERYWHERE.  When I arrived on the bus from Puebla, it was immediately evident in the pile-up of traffic... I don't know how they do it!

I made it to a sketchy hostel in a neighborhood behind the airport, dropped my bag, locked up all my valuables as best I could, and hit the streets!  Riding the metro was a hoot; people coming through with their boomboxes, selling stuff, the works.  I met a nice guy going my direction who whisked me through the maze of subway station stairs and corridors, and before I knew it, I was downtown!  A live Cuban band, and a room full of dancers :)  *Happy place*  Some last minute emails, a hot shower, and a half-hour nap was all that I had time for before my 8:45 a.m. Cubana flight... Have to arrive early to those things!  Needless to say, it's 9:15 a.m. as I sit here writing, and we are definitely not on board the plane... Nope, not even an announcement.  I heard someone say our plane was in Veracruz, Mexico.  The screen is still flashing "8:45 On Time".  Guess not.  Welcome to Cuban Airways.  Just a little reminder of what the next month will be like...  A lot of waiting :)  That's okay. I can deal with it.  I'm prepared.  It's worth it!  Let's see what time I get there (and if my ride is still waiting on the other end)...

I wish!

I wish there were a little more time in a day... and a few more hours in the night.

I wish I had more than a week left - to see friends and family before my flight.

I wish plane tickets didn't cost money; I'd travel endlessly all over the place.

I wish that bags would pack themselves, so I wouldn't have to worry about my suitcase!

I wish the sun shone all the time and it were warmer where I choose to live.

I wish more people understood the need at 3 a.m. to be productive!

I wish I could pursue all the plans and ideas and dreams that swirl around in my head.

I wish I weren't sitting on the couch, and instead were in a nice, warm bed...

Goodnight!  (Technically morning by now...)

Freedom

Something about this country makes me think of freedom.  Perhaps it's being in the land of William Wallace, and thinking of Mel Gibson's cry of "FREEEEDOMMM!!" in the movie "Braveheart".  Maybe it's the sound of bagpipes and seeing men in kilts... or better yet, it could be the endless rolling hills and wild countryside.  Whatever it is, freedom hangs in the air.

Freedom to live, freedom to love.  Thank God for freedom!  As the presidential elections in the U.S. draw near, I am reminded of the freedom that was fought for in that country, and the many who have died for it.  I am thankful for the foundation they have laid, allowing me the great joy - and responsibility - of making daily choices that determine my circumstances in life.  I am grateful for the privilege to cast a vote this year, and am inspired to stand for the cause of true freedom.  The question is, what does it really mean to be "free"?

William Wallace Memorial

Scotland

On freedom...

Pitlochry

Life in Scotland: what can I say?!  It's absolutely beautiful here; reminds me a lot of Washington state.  I've been on a few walks and hikes, and I keep forgetting where I am.  There's a park with a waterfall nearby that looks just like Whatcom Falls, and a little inlet on the river that looks like a part of Larrabee State Park.  The most similar thing, though, is the RAIN.  Rain and cold, clouds and rain, all day, every day... And it's summer.  Oh well.  Like I said, it's beautiful, and in an odd way (minus the cold), refreshing.  There is a sense of renewal that hangs in the air.  The people who are hosting us are kind and caring, opening their homes to us, and welcoming us warmly.  The scenery is green and luscious; even as a team we have been resting and enjoying some extra free time...

Last week we visited Edinburgh and the world-famous Fringe Art Festival, where we also hiked up to the spot where one of the scenes from "Chariots of Fire" was shot.  It happened to be a gorgeous day and we had the chance for a few good photos in the sunshine...  

An Epic Tale

This is the story - an epic tale - of two football (AKA soccer) teams

in all-out war to claim their place in the Olympic quarter-finals...

(Actually, it's more like a story of how I went to the match, but

that's besides the point.)

One afternoon, not too long ago, I was sitting in the living room with

some friends, eating pizza, when one of them found available tickets

to watch Brazil play New Zealand in the Olympics. We all looked at

each other, and in the following 25 seconds, as Lee clicked through

the screens to confirm the availability of the tickets, we decided to

take the plunge. In unison we turned to Lee, exclaiming "I'm in!".

Five tickets were purchased, and the adventure began... Only AFTER we

bought tickets did I realize the game would be in Newcastle and I was

to be staying in London during that time. Oh well :)

Thankful that I found tickets to an Olympic event, and even more so

that I would have the (perhaps) once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to

watch Brazil play, AND it all happened to coincide with my one day

off... How could I refuse the chance to witness such an epic event -

history in the making?!

Tuesday night my team performed in Sidcup, in the greater London area.

After the show and mingling with the audience, I quickly changed and

literally RAN to the train station to make the 22h train back into

London. I had an 23.55h bus to catch, and it would take a 40 minute

train, 20 minute subway, and 10 minute walk to get me there, not to

mention transfers and waiting time.

After huffing and puffing and breaking quite a sweat (I hate running),

we arrived at the train station with 2 minutes to spare to catch the

incoming train. Safely aboard, I could relax that there was enough

time to make all the connections. At London Waterloo, we transferred

to the tube (subway), and rode two different lines, eventually

covering the distance to Victoria station. It's incredible how many

people were still traveling at 11pm... :) oh the city!

When we arrived at the coach station, I knew we were in the right

place: I found myself surrounded by the musical sound of Portuguese,

and bright yellow jerseys everywhere I looked. We weren't the only

ones to catch an overnight bus to Newcastle...

Seven hours later, with a solid 40 minutes of sound sleep, we pulled

up to a lifeless Newcastle, supporting my theory that no one should be

awake at 6.30am... The streets looked like a ghost town, with not a

soul to be seen. I considered sleeping in an alley somewhere, but

unfortunately it was cold and wet, and I didn't think it would be

conducive to my wellbeing. We settled for Starbucks instead. What's

6 hours in a coffee shop anyways?! One crazy way to spend my day off,

but to take the train at a more convenient time was 5 times the

price... Overnight buses it is!

Four hours of Starbucks later, I had my nails painted green and

yellow, my eyeshadow matching, and decked out in Brazil colors. Go

big or go home :) I fully support my Latin American team! I even did

Clark's nails, as I told him he should take one for the team...

The game was a blast. Brazil dominated New Zealand 3-0 and we proudly supported their win. The crowd was friendly and upbeat, fully

sporting the Olympic spirit. With our big flag and enthusiastic

cheers we made friends quickly...

What a day! It's nice to slip away from the usual routine, find

myself in a new environment, and hang out with a different group of

people... I experienced the Olympics first-hand, and THAT is a special

event indeed.

Cheers mates! :)

High School

Yesterday I had an amazing experience: I felt like I was 16 again!  Now, I may be 24, quickly going on 25, but that was not how I thought of myself a day ago!
We performed at a high school in Wolverhampton, England... who would have thought :)  Anyhow, I want to go to that school; it was so nice!  It reminded me of where I used to go to school in Holland; so diverse, but much friendlier than what I remember it being like... I met a few girls from Amsterdam - from my old hood :)  They were overly excited when they found out that I speak Dutch - I'm glad it made such an impact!  Ha.
At any rate, it was a good day: so many smiling faces, the opportunity to mingle with students and staff, and perform our full show twice.  Why do I find myself wishing I was back in high school?  Only for a second, really.  Wouldn't it be nice to feel like your whole life was ahead of you, to not carry financial and social responsibilities, and to spend every day in an environment geared toward your growth and education?...
Yeah, who am I kidding?!  Maybe in hind-sight that's what high school is like, but I know the reality of it.  It sure doesn't feel like utopia when you're in it - and not that it is.  I wouldn't trade the experiences I've had since then for anything (well, maybe one or two, but that's a different story), and I enjoy the life of an adult... but still... I guess at the end of the day, it's not all that bad :)  If only more high schoolers could appreciate what's in front of them instead of trying to grow up faster... Just a random thought for the day :)

Show Time!!!

After months of preparation, the time has finally come! We've hit the road - show and all :) It is not only a privilege, but a great pleasure to be "on tour" with this group. A bunch of people who love Jesus, volunteering their time and talents to simply give a taste of the Arts, and a message to hope, to all people... 

Our first full performance was Wednesday, June 27th, and since then we've done several full shows, as well as some shorter performances at schools, and a talent show. We were going to hit the streets of Nuneaton (middle of nowhere, England), but the weather prevented us from doing so this weekend - rain, rain rain :( Maybe next time!

At one elementary school in the area, we performed a chunk of our show, and we taught 12 different workshops to all the different grade levels and classes - it was fun! The kids were so cute - learning Bible stories, verses, hula dancing, and Korean drums...

One of my group's hula classes :)

At another school we went to - or "college" as they call it here in England - we happened to be there on the same day they were visited by one of the Olympic Torch bearers! After performing for the school, we were asked to take a photo with Lucy Davies, who carried the Olympic Torch through a part of Leicester, England last week. The Olympics are just around the corner, and the whole nation is talking about it!

Our crew with Lucy Davies, and the Olympic Torch she carried!

It's exciting to be a part of this particular season - this dot on the timeline of history. Performing our show is a blast; although it was a challenge to get this far, and took hard work, it is really fun, now! It doesn't always run perfectly, or smoothly - like when I threw my Spanish fan in the middle of a performance last week :D - but somehow it always pulls together and despite our mistakes, the heart of God shines through strongly!

Time to dance!

Love,

Stephanie

JOY :D

I'm am so thankful for the sun!  The past week has been beautiful, and I have found myself enjoying the surroundings of the King's Lodge, basking in the sun, and working on my tan (AKA SunBURN!) :)  The warmth is healing to my body, and to my heart.  So to those who were worried about what in the world would become of me over the course of 4 months in miserable weather: thank God for making the sun shine down on me :)  I think I'll be okay!  Below is the King's Lodge... notice the BLUE sky!

Not only will I be OKAY, but life is GOOD.  I spent today, Saturday, enjoying the sun, and giving thanks for all the wonderful people in my life, and amazing experiences that I have had.  Reflecting back over the years of travel, of work, of family, friends, and fun.  Life is good.  Life is great.  I can't complain, but I am filled with JOY at the memories of each precious moment.  

A couple of weeks ago I had a class about joy and healing (from trauma).  Probably one of the best weeks of teaching that I have ever had in my life... The principle was simple and clear, and essential to life, applicable to any and all situations: we were created for connection, for relationship.  The human brain experiences JOY when someone is glad to be with us.  The key to recovering from addiction, from trauma, or from the stresses of life is JOY, which is released in the brain when I engage in positive relationship with another.  We can experience true healing when there is a joyful connection with another person.  I believe in a personal relationship with Jesus, that is the foundation of connecting to God and experiencing joy, because He is glad to be with me.  His love is constant, and unconditional.  How easy it is to get caught up in a lot of activity, in much to do, and lost in many thoughts; but when I stop to connect with Him, ask Him questions, and feel that joy, suddenly I can cope with all kinds of other situations.  That's what I did in the sun today: I connected with Jesus.  I spent time with Him.  Now I feel refreshed, I feel invigorated with new energy, and heaps of JOY.  God is GREAT.  Life is good.  Thank You Jesus!

(So that I don't forget... it's all about joy!)

It is SO COLD!

A week ago yesterday I arrived at the King's Lodge in England.  I have to say that so far, it has been everything I expected it to be: cold and miserable!  It's cloudy, it rains intermittently, and it's FREEZING - even inside the building!  The weather aside, it's nice to be in the middle of nowhere, but ONLY because it's helping me to get stuff done (notice how I'm updating my blog for the first time in quite a while)... That's because there's nothing else to do around here!  The base is located in the country, about a 45 minute walk from the nearest town, Nuneaton.  Although in any other country that might be a nice walk, the cloudy skies and brisk temperatures keep me from wandering out beyond the absolutely necessary.

My neighbors (as seen here on the right) are COWS.  Down the road we have some SHEEP... my favorite... NOT!  I'm just not really a country girl, and the whole farm-animal thing... not so much.  But hey, for some people, this feels like home.  Personally, though, I miss the CITY!

What I did for "fun" this weekend: walk to town. Nuneaton at least shows signs of life... there are PEOPLE (versus cows and sheep), and a few places to sit and have a good cup of coffee (necessary in this weather!).  It's a good change from lectures, dancing, and sleeping... All my other time has been spent desperately trying to catch up on 2 months worth of emails and messaging... Getting there!

Did I mention how the British drive on the WRONG side of the road?!  Just wanted to point that out :)  Not only do I have to walk 45 minutes in miserable weather to get to town, but I almost died in the process because cars are coming from all the wrong directions..!  They weren't very keen on hitchhikers either... not quite sure why not :)


Anyhow, those are my first thoughts from this wet little country... It's nice and green - quite the contrast from Amsterdam.  It's peaceful, and quiet, and I have been going to bed earlier this past week then I think I ever have before!  I suppose that's good.  But still, the lack of sunshine is hard to bear... especially knowing that Amsterdam, and even Bellingham, are having much nicer weather... of all the places I could be right now... Aaaah.  HOWEVER, I am in a new place, meeting lots of people, and that's always an adventure, of course!

Now that I'm stuck here for the time being, I'll try to update my blog more often... What I'll find to write about, I'm not quite sure, but there is bound to be something exciting going on :)  If you're reading this and the sun is shining wherever you are, count your blessings!  Chances are, it's not shining here!  :D

In dire need of SUNSHINE, yet thankful to be alive,

Steph :)

It has begun!

Amsterdam, April 2012

Some of my fellow staff...

Discipleship Training School:

  

Welcoming Night for the students 

Doing a little dance...

Finally, it has begun.  The Performing Arts DTS, Amsterdam 2012, is now in session.
Much more to come!  Stay tuned :)

A New Beginning

So, other than waking up at 3 a.m. (which no one should ever have to do), the first flight of my transatlantic trip was relatively uneventful... I slept from Seattle to San Francisco, even after a triple-shot Starbucks! Unfortunately, that's where the smooth travel came to an abrupt end. Right around the time I was supposed to begin boarding my next plane to Chicago, the airline announced that they had discovered a hydraulic fuel leak and our take-off would be delayed. Of course I wanted them to fix it, but I was really hoping not to miss my already tight connection to Amsterdam. I only had about an hour to make my connecting flight in Chicago, and we were running 40 minutes late – still with no word on boarding. The airline prepared a different plane for us eventually, and by my calculations, we would be landing in Chicago right as my next plane was scheduled to take off – hardly enough time to make the connection!

As I arrived in Chicago, I ran to the next gate, and luckily, they were holding the plane so I made it – just barely! I was the very last person to get on. Although everyone was giving me the angry look for being the person who caused a delay, I managed to get two adjacent seats to myself and slept most of the way to Amsterdam.

After long hours of travel, we began the descent to an overcast (of course) Holland. WHAT was I thinking?! There would be no blast of tropical heat upon arrival. I am still wondering how it is that I ended up back in Holland, but here I am. Amsterdam – the city I was born in – so beautiful, yet the weather really puts a damper on it... literally.

Upon landing, I was somewhat excited as I was traveling for the first time with a Dutch passport. To my dismay, I didn't even get a stamp! The guy took a quick look – I hardly think he verified my identity – and then he sent me on my way with a mere “dankjewel” [Dutch: thank you]. I guess I should be happy that it was such a quick and easy entry...

On the other side of baggage claim, my friend Marie met me to help lug my bags on the train to Central Station and then half-way across the city to my new home at De Poort (YWAM building). A walk that usually takes about 15 minutes took us at least 30 as we had to stop repeatedly, switch the weight, and readjust the wheels on my luggage to keep them from breaking on the uneven bricks along the way... I've decided that it's one thing to take a trip (pack light), but another entirely to move half-way around the world (you take more stuff)!

My arrival happened to coincide with an evening “Love Feast” (a nice dinner). There were about 150 people in attendance. Some of the nations represented: Norway, Mexico, Venezuela, South Africa, Nigeria, Germany, Romania, USA, Holland, Italy, Canada, Pakistan, India, Brazil, Eritrea... and who knows about the other 135 people who were there! :)

Anyhow – as for me – I crashed after dinner; it was quite the trip. I am glad to have made it back to Amsterdam, but I am still unsure what to make of it... It's exhilirating, yet, terrifying. I'm here to stay, and that somehow is surreal to me. We'll see what the next couple of months bring!

As I write this, I am on the train to Berlin (currently passing through Apeldoorn). I am going to visit a dear friend of mine for a few days. I would post this blog right away, but no wifi in the train, so I will have to wait until I get off in Germany... :) If you're reading this, it means I made it to Berlin safely.

I'll keep you posted!

Love,

Steph

The Greatest Person in my Life

I'm currently surrounded by my family and wonderful friends - the relationships I have in life make me feel so rich! I can think of countless people who have deeply influenced me over the years... And as I sit and reflect on the people who mean the most to me, there is a person who stands out above any other, and I just want to take a moment to express my gratitude for the greatest friend and closest companion I've ever had!

There is a person who has taught me more than anyone else, and is responsible for the hope that I have, the faith I profess, and the smile on my face. I don't talk about this person nearly enough, but He means the world to me! His Name is Jesus. He is the Son of God, and Son of Man; the Creator who took on flesh so I could see the Invisible. He's the Man who teaches me how to live, how to love, how to be at peace knowing that He is above it all, how not to worry, not to stress, and trust Him each step of the way. He's the God who teaches me to love beyond myself, give more than I think I can, and see what others choose to ignore. He changed the world, the course of human history, and He left His mark on me!

He has always been there, through thick and thin, no matter the distance, country, or location. When no on else saw me, when no one else knew what was going on... He has never pointed a finger, nor demanded anything of me, but so faithfully and warmly invites me to taste and live the love He gives...
He has never turned His back or given up, though I have on Him. He has never wronged me, though I have Him. Always, He has my best interests at heart, and always, I can count on Him!

The love and the wisdom that mark Jesus' life inspire me. Some may think He's just a teacher, or maybe that He isn't real, but His touch is undeniable, and it's genuine. It's fantastic news to all who choose to hear! A love that lays down everything? A love that gives sacrificially, selflessly, without limit and without measure? Love that is faithful and true, patient and kind. Fierce love, jealous love, relentlessly pursuing me – how could I turn away?!

Jesus is the greatest Person in my life. I'm stunned out of my mind whenever I think of how much He has loved me, and loves me still... I want to love like that. I want to be like Him. And that's the Gospel: that we can have a relationship with the Person who changes the world, one life at a time, by receiving His love and being transformed to His likeness. We can't, but He did, and He'll do it in us every day if we choose to let Him... We spend time with Him, get to know Him, and the world will see Jesus, when we love like He loves.

So this is dedicated to the Man that I can't live without, the Person who has changed and formed the way I think, the way I feel, and the choices that I make. He means the world to me, and I will gladly give the world to follow Him, because His love has changed my life, rocked me to the core, and His invitation to know Him is extended to me every day... If only everyone had a friend like that!

I love You, Jesus!

A Christmas Rhyme

A Sign in the Sky

One dark, lonely night

Something very bizarre -

A sign shining so bright,

Drawing people from afar.

Shepherds in the field

Blown out of their mind

By thousands of angels singing

"Good News to all mankind!"

Can you imagine the shock and the awe

God must have thought it funny, what He saw...

Making so many angels appear suddenly

To share with all living creatures a bit of His glee!

It heralded the humble, yet royal birth

Of the King who is coming to rule the earth.

He left for a while, but don't make a mistake -

He's coming again, all things new to make!

Born into this broken world,

Accursed and ignored,

He gave Himself freely,

To see humanity restored.

He came not with bloodshed,

Nor violence, nor gore,

But rather, a tender baby -

So Him we could adore!

"No room in the inn", that's what they said

If only they had known who needed a bed...

Just like people now, who are too busy, life so hectic,

To realize who He is, this God who is lovesick.

So look to the Star that shone in the night;

It points to the One who makes all things right.

To creation unsuspecting, to humanity unaware,

The greatest gift was given: Jesus, God's own Son - the Rightful Heir!

Merry Christmas! :)

How blessed we are...

Where is “home”?!

I'm reflecting back on the past 3 months (and how fast they've FLOWN by), and thinking of all the good things that have come out of it... too many to tell! I look forward to my trip back to the States on Saturday – returning to see family and friends for Christmas, the New Year, and my birthday, too! I will share some of the funny stories, the good times I shared with old friends, the memories from childhood, and the many things I learned during my internship here. I really think they're better told in person (otherwise I might as well just write a book). But I do want to mention one of the highlights from this time: a desire that I have had for many years, and have pursued in various ways, finally became a reality...

I GOT MY DUTCH PASSPORT!!!

Now the proud owner of 2 passports, I feel like my identity crisis has been somewhat solved... Not that I had major issues, but I've often struggled to articulate the answer to “where are you from?” Such a basic question, but I've long been confused. Now I know. I am from Amsterdam. I was born here, and now I have a Dutch passport. I am also very proud of my American heritage and passport, but it's certainly nice to be a citizen of the country you were born in! I smiled from ear to ear I think for at least a week straight, and when anyone mentions my newly discovered citizenship, I still jump for joy! People are constantly congratulating me, and it has been about a month... It's great!

Anyhow, as I was reading the Bible the other day, I came across several passages that got me thinking about this topic, too. Paul states that “our citizenship is in heaven (Phil. 3:20)” and suddenly it hit me: I've been SO excited about my Dutch citizenship because it opens up doors of opportunity, but when have I stopped to think about my heavenly citizenship?! I bought sweets and cookies, went out for special treats, and told everyone who would listen about my nationality in the Dutch system. My name is written in the Book of Life – that's far more exciting! I like what the Dutch translation says about our citizenship: it says that our citizens' rights are of a heavenly kingdom. I haven't ever stopped to ponder what the rights (and responsibilities) are of a citizen of heaven, but uhhhhh, it outweighs Holland's (although the rights here are pretty nice). Crazy. It's tickling my brain! Right now, since this whole process is so fresh to me, and so personal, I feel like I understand what Paul was saying... My true citizenship is in heaven; my true identity is based on what God says. That should radically change the way I live my life...

This world is not my home. I am one familiar with packing my bags, and getting rid of “stuff”. I watch most everyone around me in a frenzied rat race to buy more, get more, store more, and own more, and all the while, I keep trying to minimize my possessions... Pack light. It's all about perspective. I hadn't paid much attention before, but like I said, this topic has grown on me... In the Bible, in Hebrews 11, Abraham was said to be a foreigner and temporary resident on the earth, seeking a better land – one to come. He had the same perspective David did when he wrote “for I am a foreigner residing with You, a sojourner like all my fathers (Ps. 39:12).” It just reminds me that home is not here, nor in the U.S., nor on a Caribbean island (though I would like it to be!). My home is temporarily unseen, yet very real.

I am incredibly thrilled to have my second passport – thank You God! But what thrills me even more, is my citizenship in heaven (again, thank You Jesus). It can't be taken from me; and the benefits are out of this world - literally! No matter where I try to say that I am from, at least I know where I am going... In times of difficulty and uncertainty, I am not banking on the dollar, nor the euro, nor storing up more STUFF... after all, this place is not my home! I am not concerned, because my savings account is indestructible; my inheritance is secure. Now that's something I can be excited about! Heaven throws a party every time someone receives their new citizenship (Luke 15:10)... it's time I celebrate the same! So I celebrate God's provision of Dutch-American nationality, but even more so, I'm celebrating the privilege of heavenly citizenship and the entry to a better home! :D

Getting ready to hit the road again...

Just a traveler and sojourner like my fathers... :)

Love,

Stephanie

I don't want to forget...

I am intrigued by the place I now find myself, and the time that lies ahead. Three months in Amsterdam... I never would have thought! It's a rare and special gift to be able to re-discover my childhood roots, while at the same time diving deep into the presence of Almighty God. I have a passion to know what's on God's heart, and then live to bring it about. I think one way to know God is through spending a lot of time talking to Him – prayer! That's what I've signed up for over the next 3 months... Of all places and all times, I'm back where I began. This only goes to prove that God is faithful, and He is good – far beyond my understanding! Apparently He knows what He's doing... and it's really exciting to be on board! :)

The past few days have been surreal as I wander the streets of the city, re-living many childhood memories. Living now in downtown Amsterdam is a whole new world; but it feels just like home :) It wasn't long ago that I played in this very place, although memories have faded and some are long gone. It was a little slow at first, but I am beginning to remember the things that sparked my love for travel, the nations, and the peoples of this world. The city is a very special place. It seems like eons ago, yet the pictures are still vivid, and the friendships still exist. I am thankful that time does not erase the past – I wouldn't want to forget the precious moments lived, laughed at, and learned from...

I don't want to forget the time I was playing “hide-and-go-seek” and broke my leg... I know it doesn't seem like the most pleasant memory, but it never fails to get all my siblings laughing and cracking jokes. Most people wonder how I managed to break a leg playing hide-and-go-seek... well, that's the thing; it's quite a story! A pile of dirt, a 5-foot ditch, 10 seconds, and 2 broken bones... crazy; but it's true!

That fateful bridge it happened under...

I don't want to forget Haardstee: the bike sheds out front, the blue and yellow window sills, the courtyard, and all the corners and passages where we used to play as kids... The Amsterdam Arena, Bijlmer metro station, ABN Amro Bank... the list goes on.

Haardstee Apartment

Bijlmer Metro Station

 I don't want to forget the very things that I love so much about the inner city: the people from all over the world – the variation in language and culture. The way the city never sleeps; the crazy Dutch still biking at 3 in the morning! The Dam, Leidse plein, Central Station, Kalverstraat, Saturday markets, koopavond, live music, outdoor cafes, patatje oorlog, trams, buses, confused looks, lost tourists... all in a day's walk.

I've only been in Amsterdam a few days, but memories are flooding my mind. Suddenly I'm painfully aware that a page has been turned and a new season in life has begun. Although I am excited for the things that lie ahead, I hold on to precious moments so recently passed, because I know how easily I forget... Time slips by so quickly and memories rapidly fade, but I am not letting go of what happened this summer. My time back in Cuba was wonderful; I experienced a whole new side of Cuban culture and people. It was fun, it was hard, it was good, and it was hot! I worked in the kitchen, spent time in prayer, and helped cleaning up around camps. The people have such a special place in my heart; as I know they do in God's, too. Although I am half-way around the world for now, I don't want to let the memories disappear...

I don't want to forget the beauty of the island: picturesque beaches, tropical sunsets, lusciously green vegetation, and the waves crashing over the malecon (boardwalk) in La Habana.

I don't want to forget the rickety flight on Cubana Air, which I didn't think would even make it... the tarantulas around our campground, the 4-cent Cuban coffees, 1950 Chevrolet taxis, hamburgers from street vendors, pizzas that taste like cardboard, sweat dripping from every pore, salsa music always within earshot, and the importance of deep-cleaning our bathrooms.

I don't want to forget the looks on the faces of the children whom I gave gifts to. Be it the glimmer in their eyes, the pearly-white smiles plastered on their faces, or the appreciation oozing out of every word they spoke... such simple gifts as soccer balls and silly bands made a world of difference to these kids... What a precious lesson to learn in how to be grateful for all that I have...

I don't want to forget how blessed I am, having had the opportunity to go, to share, to learn and grow. I was so excited to return a second time after having danced the first away. What sweet redemption to go back and see the same friends I met before but with a story to tell them of God's love and faithfulness in my own life.

I don't want to forget the names of those who I grew close to: my family away from home, my friends through thick and thin, strangers who extended a welcoming hand, those whose lives I touched, and those whose lives touched mine.

I don't want to forget the tears I've cried for Cuba, and the many prayers lifted up. I felt like home sweet home while I was there; like I was in a place made just for me :) I worked hard; I did my best. There is a high price to pay in Cuba, but I continue to ask God for amazing things in and through that nation. I hold on to the desire to see a people return to God with all their hearts. And I know that He is up to something big...

I'll never be quite the same; and I don't want to forget all the reasons why...